Riding Bitch Read online

  “Felicia and I are getting married,” Ash informed them. “If you don’t agree with our decision, we’re sorry for that, but we’re adults now.”

  “You don’t know each other,” her father said. “Sex does not build a relationship.”

  “Love does.” Felicia could feel her voice breaking. “Ash and I spent hours together, talking and getting to know each other. I didn’t sneak out of the house all those years ago just to get laid.”

  “Felicia!” Her mother’s mouth dropped open. The older woman was blushing. “How could you say something like that?”

  “I’m sorry, Mother, but I don’t think we should dance around the situation, even if we’re talking about thirteen years ago.”

  “You mean when he defiled you?” her father interjected.

  Felicia pushed back from the table. “That word makes it sound as if he didn’t have my consent. We made love, Father. I was in no way defiled!”

  “You were a child.” Her father stood, and she thought he was going to launch himself at Ash. Ash must have thought the same thing, because he stood too, his hands balled into fists.

  “I was old enough to make decisions, according to the state of New Mexico.” Felicia tried to keep her voice calm and even. “Whether you believe it or not, I was seventeen when Ash and I became lovers.”

  “And what do you know about him now?” She could tell her father was trying to use the same restraint as her future husband.

  When she spoke again, her voice was soft but insistent. “I know he’s a successful artist. I know he still loves me, despite the fact that I ignored him when he made an overture to come back into my life. I know I’m lucky to have him, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

  “You can’t trust him,” her father muttered.

  “What did you say?” Ash leaned toward him. “May I ask what you’re basing that opinion on?”

  Her father glared at Ash, and once again she could see the threat of violence just under the surface.

  “Let’s just say I know what your people are capable of.”

  “My people?” Now she thought it was Ash who would throw the first punch. “Are you talking about my family or my race?”

  “Figure it out,” her father retorted. He stood. “Felicia, if you marry this man…I…”

  She thought he was going to say he would disown her. Instead he started toward the door. “Come on, Betty. We’re leaving.”

  Felicia’s hands shook; she was crying so hard now she couldn’t catch her breath. Ash’s arms were around her, holding her as he murmured in her ear that it would be all right, that things would be fine without her father in their lives.

  What she heard next shocked her to her core.

  “No.” Her mother’s voice was calm, but the tone said her mind was made up.

  “What?” Her father sounded shocked.

  “I know it’s not a word you hear from me very often, Harold, but I said no. My daughter, my only child, wants to get married, and I’m not going to be left out of it because of you. It’s been twenty-four years, Harold. You can’t let your disappointment ruin your daughter’s chance for happiness.”

  Felicia hiccupped and tried to catch her breath. Ash handed her a napkin, which she used to wipe away her tears. “What are you talking about?” she asked in a shaky voice.

  “It’s none of your business,” her father said.

  “Oh, it is, since you’re using it as an excuse here,” her mother told him. “While you’re talking of honor and defilement, shouldn’t your daughter know you had an affair that ended in a woman’s death?”

  “Daddy?” Felicia focused on her father. She felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. “You had an affair?”

  He didn’t respond. Instead he continued to stare at her mother, as if she’d just betrayed him in the worst way possible.

  “He did,” her mother said when the silence continued.

  “We should go,” Charlie said, standing.

  “No, sit,” her mother said. Felicia had never heard such forceful words come from her mouth. “It’s better to hear things firsthand. Your father fell in love with another woman, when you were about six. Before you ask, I will tell you she was white. Things like this happen, and rather than fight it, we separated. But this woman, well…she had another lover. She liked to play them against each other.”

  “A Native American,” Ash said.

  “Yes.” Her mother was angry now, her voice tight and high. “One night she invited the both of them over, knowing they’d be there at the same time. A fight ensued. The other man, Jim Stone, had brought a gun. The two of them fought. It went off and hit her.”

  Felicia looked at her father. He was staring at the floor, the fight gone out of him.

  “She died instantly, or so they say,” her mother continued. “Both men were charged with involuntary manslaughter and spent two years in prison.”

  “Prison?” It was as if someone had sucked the air out of the room. Her father was a felon?

  “He brought the gun; he killed her,” her father said.

  “Oh, Harold,” her mother replied, resigned and sad. “You both acted like immature schoolboys. But it’s in the past. It should be over, but you’ve let your hate for Jim Stone morph into a dislike for the entire race, and you’re trying to ruin your daughter’s chance at happiness. I did things in the past I’m not happy about. I lied to Ash, and I lied to Felicia. But I’m not going to do it again. I’m going to stay here with my daughter and her future husband, and I’m going to help them plan a wedding.”

  The silence was uneasy. Felicia didn’t know what to say. Ash held her hand tightly, as if he were trying to absorb any pain she felt.

  “Daddy?” she said. “Say something.”

  He cleared his throat. “Please give your mother a ride back to town,” he said. He walked out the door. From where she sat, Felicia heard the car start. She glanced at her mother, who sat in her chair, her expression unreadable.

  “All this time?” Felicia said after a long pause “How could you…?”

  “Because I love him,” her mother replied. “I can’t explain it to you any more than anyone can explain why they love someone. He’s been good to me, to us, after the…incident.”

  Except for his hatred of Ash, Felicia wanted to say. Instead she just squeezed her future husband’s hand. He squeezed back.

  Felicia wondered how hard it had to have been for her mother to know her husband loved another woman, that he was a factor in that woman’s death, that he obviously still cared about her, all these years later.

  “Well,” Ash’s father said. “I think Mrs. Montrose has hit the nail on the head. No one can say why people fall in love with each other. But I know that love has nothing to do with anyone but the two people involved. Ash, Felicia, I’m sorry for the part I played in keeping you apart. Now I’m happy to welcome Felicia into the family.”

  “Thank you, Charlie,” Felicia said, feeling numb, though, after the revelations about her father.

  “That means a lot, Dad,” Ash added. Felicia looked at him, and she could tell he was focusing on his mother right now. “Mom?” he said after a few moments.

  “There has to be native elements in the wedding,” Mrs. Chee said. “I’ll need time to contact a shaman and get everything into place. I don’t think I can do it in a week.”

  “Quit stalling,” Charlie said. Felicia was still looking at Ash but she was pretty sure from the sound of his voice he was smiling. “You know you can get it done by Friday. You could take over the world by Wednesday and not break a sweat.”

  Felicia laughed, and Ash joined in. She looked at her mother, who was also grinning but looking away.

  “So what’s your excuse, Mother?” Ash blurted out. “You’ve been very vocal in your opposition all these years. Why?”

  “Don’t,” Felicia whispered, but Ash was shaking his head.

  “I want her to confirm what I’m thinking,” Ash sa
id.

  His mother sighed. “You know why, Ash.”

  “It may not be steeped in murder, but it’s racial,” he said.

  They were staring at each other now. Finally, Mrs. Chee said, “I wanted a Native daughter-in-law. I admit it. I do love you, Ash. I’m also worried this is too soon.”

  “Mother, I’ve loved her pretty much all my life. I don’t know how much longer you want me to wait.”

  “I just want what’s best for you.”

  Felicia knew she meant what she said. But that didn’t make it any easier to hear. Her future mother-in-law thought there was someone better for her son.

  “I realize that, but you can’t decide what that is. Sometimes I have to make those choices. There is no one better for me than Felicia.”

  For a minute, Felicia thought Mrs. Chee might argue. Instead she said, “We need to make sure she has a basket, and of course a water jug, and the corn mush.”

  Ash sat back in his chair, his position relaxing just a bit. Felicia felt as if things might actually work out.

  “She is sitting right beside me, Mother. Don’t talk about Fee as if she’s not here. We’ll make a list today of what all needs to be done.”

  “Let’s get started, then,” Mrs. Chee said.

  “Not yet.” Charlie stood up. “I have something else to say. For my part, I’m looking forward to the idea that my grandchildren might have red hair. And I’m starved, and my food is cold. Ash, where have you moved the microwave? I thought it was near the stove.”

  “It’s in the studio,” Ash replied. “I’ll go and get it. You guys play nice while I’m gone.”

  When he was gone, Charlie put out his hand. “Ana, come with me into the living room for a moment, please.”

  When they were gone, Felicia went to her mother and hugged her. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes, Felicia,” she said as she brushed imaginary crumbs off the table. “Your father will come around, you know. He loves you very much. And he loves me. I’ll talk to him.”

  “He hurt you,” Felicia said.

  Her mother sat there for a moment before she said, “People get hurt by many things. You learn to live with them and accept them for what they are, or you let them take over your life, as your father did. If something happens between you and Ash, you look to the example set by your friends Courtney and Doug. They had a problem, they worked it out, and they are still together and in love. Don’t let anger get in the way of your love.”

  Felicia started to cry again.

  “That’s the best advice I can give you,” her mother said. “Always remember your love for each other.”

  * * * *

  Ash dropped the towel on the table and looked around. When he’d started doing dishes, Felicia had been by his side. But sometime between washing the pans and putting them into the drainer, she’d disappeared.

  Since their parents had left several hours ago, she’d been quiet. He couldn’t imagine what was going on inside her after the revelations of the day. He’d asked once if she wanted to talk. She’d said no. He hadn’t pushed the issue, thinking that she would decide to let her feelings out later, maybe after she’d sorted them in her own way.

  That didn’t mean he wanted to leave her alone, though.

  “Fee?” She didn’t answer. He went to the bedroom and found it empty, but the doors were open to the deck. He crossed to them, and in the yard he found her. She was playing fetch with Rock, who had been delivered back home that afternoon.

  The black lab had taken to the newcomer immediately. Ash smiled as he watched Felicia throw the ball and Rock rush to retrieve it.

  He went outside, and when she finally noticed him, he said, “You’ve dumped me already, huh?”

  “Yup.” She petted Rock’s head. The dog rolled onto the ground and offered her his belly.

  “I think he likes you,” Ash said. “He has very good taste. But he’s not going to be happy when I kick him out of the bedroom tonight. We might have to get him a playmate so he doesn’t get lonely.”

  “Please don’t tell me he sleeps on the bed.”

  Ash shook his head. “But he does have a little bed of his own in there. Since that could put a damper on our amorous activity, he’ll have to find new accommodations in a different part of the house.”

  “Poor Rock.” She leaned over and scratched his belly.

  “He’ll be fine, unless you spoil him.”

  “Me?” She tried to look innocent, but instead he thought she looked like she had just eaten something sour.

  “You.” He winked at her. “Wanna ride bitch for a while?”

  “Only if we can take Rock with us.” She patted the dog’s belly again.

  “Careful what you wish for,” he replied. “I have a sidecar I attach to the older bike for the dog.”

  Her laughter made his ever-present craving for her push its way to the top of his brain. That wasn’t a good thing, though, not right now. Felicia needed to work through her feelings about what she’d learned today, and he wanted to help. He hoped a ride would relax her, and having a conversation while they were not face-to-face might keep them on track. If they talked in the bedroom, he would want to comfort her with sex.

  Right now, she needed nothing more than his ear.

  “You want to take the dog?”

  “Not tonight,” he said. “The sidecar can be a little tricky, and I’d like us to practice around the land before we take to the open road. Rock will be fine on his own until we get back.”

  “Sounds good.” She headed toward the house. “I’ll get suited up.”

  Rock jumped to his feet and made to follow his new mistress. When Ash called out for him, the dog stopped and stared, then turned his attention to Fee, who was just going in the house.

  “Come here, boy.” Ash started to walk toward the garage, and Rock fell into step beside him. “You’re staying home tonight. Next time you can come along.”

  When Ash opened the garage, Rock went to the sidecar. He sniffed it, then thumped his tail against the ground.

  “He really wants to go,” Felicia said from behind him. He turned to see she’d already put on jeans and boots.

  “You’re a quick change artist,” he said. “I’m impressed.”

  “Let’s do the sidecar thing,” she prompted. “I’m interested to see what it’s like.”

  At first he thought about saying no, but he could tell from the look on her face that she really wanted to try it. He agreed, then explained to her the difference in leaning and how she needed to pay even more attention to what he was doing, because the addition of the sidecar changed the dynamic of the bike.

  “Rock loves to ride,” Ash told her. “He has his own helmet and goggles.”

  Her laughter warmed his heart. She’d been so quiet all day, even when they were making wedding plans, and he knew she’d been thinking about her dad, about what she’d learned. Hopefully he’d get her to let him in on her feelings tonight. Keeping things pent up inside was not good.

  As soon as the sidecar was attached, Rock jumped into place. He barked loudly, which made Felicia laugh again.

  “I think he’s telling you he’s ready to go,” she said.

  “He’s always ready.” Ash put Rock’s goggles and helmet in place, then reached for his own. “There’s an area about ten miles down where he can run free. It’s a pretty straight trip and will be a good test run for the three of us.”

  When they were all in place, Ash started the bike. Through the mic, he reminded her how she’d need to adjust, and then he took off. Behind him, he could feel Felicia’s tense body. He was pretty sure a short, hard ride would calm her. It always worked for him.

  By the time they reached their destination, he was happy to see he was right. When they’d first started out, her body had been rigid. But now, as they pulled in, she seemed relaxed. The hands that had been fisted behind him were now resting on his sides, the touch gentle yet firm. After he’d freed Rock and the dog was explorin
g the area, he took a blanket from the sidecar and laid it on the ground.

  They sat down side by side, and he took her hand.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking.” He squeezed ever so lightly, thrilled when she squeezed back.

  “Postponing the wedding until Friday was a good thing because there’s so much to do. I think the next week is going to be fun, dealing with our respective mothers and wedding plans.” She took a deep breath. “I hope you noticed the sarcasm there. For instance, on the flowers, I think—”

  “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” He kissed her sweetly. “I’m talking about your dad.”

  There was a long pause before she said, “It makes me wonder if I even know him.”

  “Everyone has things in their past that they don’t like to think about,” Ash replied. “It doesn’t mean you don’t know them; you just don’t know everything about them.”

  She glanced at him. “You’ve never been in jail, have you?”

  He couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, there was this one time…”

  Felicia playfully swatted at him. “Other than that!”

  Ash kissed her forehead. “No.”

  “And what about my mother? How could she stay with him? She knew he loved another woman, and if he’s still pissed at the world, then he still loves that woman.”

  Ash stretched out beside her. He didn’t want to let go of her hand, so he tugged gently as he moved. She lay down next to him.

  “It could be guilt he feels,” Ash said. “He’s obviously never come to terms with his part in this woman’s death. He still blames the other guy.”

  “He should have gone for counseling.” She was squeezing his hand tighter now, which let him experience the anger she felt. “Like I said, I think the thing that bothers me the most is I can’t get over how this made my mother feel. She’s just…put up with it.”

  “That’s her choice,” Ash told her. He let go of her hand, put his arm around her, and pulled her in close. “You can’t fault anyone for whom they choose to love and support. If you get mad at your mom for that, you’re doing the same thing your dad did, judging something that is not yours to judge.”